September 23rd, 2009

07:47 pm - How long has it been? So apparently the last time I posted on here it was when I was at AB library. Wow that was almost two years ago. How can that much time have passed? I feel that the blog form is dying, no one is really doing it anymore and to be honest - if I am writing this and no one is reading this, what the hell is the point? Sigh and sigh. But I digress. Perhaps I will post more later, perhaps not. Current Location: Canada, Toronto Current Mood: crazy Current Music: La Roux - Colourless colour

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June 6th, 2008

12:57 pm - Scary creeper on the first floor I have a creepy neighbour. I am not bragging, that is just what it is. He is tall, lanky, and has no social skills at all. He talks to himself constantly, and he has a large dark that always has a hoarse bark. Creepy. He was a presence when I was moving into the building. He always seemed to be at the door when I was bringing stuff in, and this annoyed him as he has a bicycle with a special copper plumbing attachment that he wanted to get in and out of the entrance. The car that was moving me was always in his way and this irritated him. But after that initial encounter he really seemed to be a hit and miss kind of thing. Until the other day, I noticed that he has plywood up in his windows instead of curtains. And not just one window, but all of his windows. So his entire apartment is lit by artificial light. And also it just seems odd to me to use plywood instead of curtains, surely curtains cannot be so expensive that plywood counts as a cheap alternative, what about bed sheets? Towels? Underwear? Hell just put your large dog in the window while you are changing, no one will be able to see through him. And the other weird thing is that the other day I was attempting to leave the building but found the large, hoarse voiced dog standing in the lobby, attempting to bark at me. Now I don't know about you, but when I see a large dog that has lots its voice straining to communicate with me, I get a tad bit nervous. So I went out the side entrance. But now it turns out that when dude is home, he leaves his front door open so that the dog can wander up and down the hall. Hee hee hee, how fun! And creepy. So creepy dude if you are reading this (which I kind of hope you are and kind of hope you are not) please be less creepy, that way we can all get along in the building. Current Location: Work Current Mood: Creeped out Current Music: none

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February 21st, 2008

02:33 pm - I don't believe that I believe Sooooooooooo It has been almost six months since I have written here and I am a bit muddled as to what to say. Things have been all over the place. Scrapped all the paint off my bottom kitchen cupboards, that was fun. Broke up with most of my family on the principal of "to thine own self be true" Am desperatly still trying to get a full time permanent position in the system at TPL. Am also currently feeling ill from the amount of sugar and caffeine I have consumed on this particular day. I am very happy and thankful for many things. Great friends, greatest boyfriend ever (sorry to all of you who can not date him, you really don't know what you are missing), great cats, good life that keeps getting better as I get older. Also I have been learning lately how to not thing about things. I know this sounds odd, but well, over thinking has always been a big problem of mine. Currently I am working on not thinking about things, like my parents, or my growing up, I am attempting to actually let the past be in the past and leave it there. This decision and subsequent action is due to how much has changed in the past six months. Also I weighed myself yesterday and I am down to 195. That was pretty exciting. Current Location: WORK!!!!!!!! Current Mood: I did it and you may not have Current Music: Jill Cunnif

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September 13th, 2007

07:48 pm - The truth behind the new Britney Song What Britney is singing about in her new song GIMME MORE... Current Location: Library Current Mood: whatever Current Music: Stupid kids who are truly stupid Tags: britney

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10:42 am - Vitaminbootay and the scary, not fun, very bad, bad day. Yesterday I went to St. Mikes for my allergy testing. I have been waiting 6 months for this test as the waiting lists are somewhat attrocious. So I get there early to fill out the paperwork as there is always paperwork. And blah blah blah, everything is fine. I am taken into the room to have the allergens applied, it is 100 allergens on strips of tape that are then secured on by more tape. How much fun! So the Doctor begins to apply them and after half a minute I begin to feel light headed. As soon as she is done I have to sit down. The room is spinning, I feel light headed and a little naseous. She instantly becomes concerned. The nurse comes in takes my pulse and blood pressure and he tells me I am going to emergency. Apparently my pulse was low and pressure was high. So I am put into a wheel chair and wheeled down there. A nurse takes my info, I am then accepted almost immediatly. A nurse with a heavy scottish accent is taking my pulse, blood pressure, hooking me up to a heart bleep machine, doing ECG scans, you name it. Oh and he took blood and put in one of those crazy IV things, which hurt a fuck of a lot! While being wheeled down to Emerg I felt foolish and stupid. Once on a bed hooked up I began to worry. What the fuck! Maybe something is really wrong with me! What if this is just a coincidence that I am in the hospital for allergy testing and the almost passing out is a big deal. The Dr comes and asks me some questions to which I was my usual dry wit self: "Did you do anything different today" he asked. "Laundry" I replied. He seemed to appreciate this. He then went and got another Dr. The two of them asked me lots of questions and decided that the best hypothesis they could come up with was that it was an A-typical reaction to the allergens. Hmmm, I guess but I have never heard of an allergy attack meaning turning green, going clammy, cold and sweaty and almost passing out. They kept me for observation and then sent me home. I cried on the way home. I was really shaken up. It was scary to go through this whole experience and then just be let go. What if I passed out on the way home? Or what if this is just nothing at all? I got home and called Stephen and told him what happened. He was concerned. I then ate dinner and felt sleepy, I talked to Stephen again and then fell asleep around 7:30 and slept until 5 this morning. Now I have all these thoughts about my mortality, and should I be worried about this? And what does it mean? I called the Occupational Health Clinic to find out if we can re-book and I am waiting for them to get back to me. Current Location: Work Room Current Mood: fuck me! Current Music: Phone ringing

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August 29th, 2007

08:02 pm - I heart candy, cookies, cake, caramel, nuts, nougat, waffles, pancakes, .. . It has been five weeks on a strict eating regiment. Five long weeks that are about to become longer as there is still two weeks left. Two weeks saturday to be exact. on the 15th I am going to lose it and eat some pretty rich and decadent foods and I can not wait. Stephen is watching this whole thing with amusement in his eyes. I am pretty certain that on that day I am not going to react well to all that junk since I have not had it in a month and a half, but still I love to bake and I love to cook and I want to make something with nougat in it. So therefore I am going to make nougat and then back something with it in it. Makes perfect sense to me. But all in all, this eating regiment has not been that bad and it has taught men a great deal about healthy eating and how good you can feel and how it helps to moderate mood and emotions. I am an emotional eater so one of the most difficult parts of this eating regiment was that I could not consume over a certain amount of calories a day. That was so hard; especially when I had a bad day and all I wanted was candy or cake, but no, I could not have it. A couple of times i cheated on what I ate, and then felt guilty and so I have for the greater moster part stuck true to this. It is a strange trip. Current Location: Rexdale Current Mood: hungry

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June 20th, 2007

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May 13th, 2007

03:29 pm - I don't expect the answers anymore Why is it that friends disapear? Or the friendship just sort of burns out? It always seems so unfair to me. There is a person who I love who, although I have attempted to keep in contact with her she makes it exceedingly impossible. And so slowly the friendship dies and it is nothing that I can control. Makes me sad. It all seems like wasted effort. And then I have moments of being neurotic where I wonder if perhaps we were never really friends, if it was all just my imagination, or she was too nice to tell me to get lost and is now using her great escape from me. Or then I worry that somethign is wrong and that perhaps she needs me. Maybe she is depressed, or unhappy and doesn't know how to or want to ask for help. It makes me sad. I miss my friends. Current Location: Lillian H Smith Current Mood: leave me alone

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April 30th, 2007

09:00 am - No motivations I did not want to get out of bed this morning. Gloom Cookie kept meowing at my door until I did. Now I don't want to get up and go. But I gotta. Gotta be at work my 5 pm. Hope I can make it there. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Current Location: Bedroom Current Mood: If I was in L.A.? Current Music: Jann Arden - California Dreamin'

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April 29th, 2007

04:48 pm - I am a cliche I have the biggest muscle knots in my back. I don't know why. It seems lately I have been really stressed out. I don't really seem to know why. I wish I knew. Cause when the BF was massaging me last night, I was actually screaming in pain. Current Location: Lillian H Smith Current Mood: I am a poseur

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April 1st, 2007

04:24 pm - I'm even more of an adult than ever before Vitamin Bootay got tenant insurance. I am now ready to get burglarised, burned down, water damage, sewer back up, etc. Yeah. Combine this with the fact that my email inboxes are down to less than 20, I am in a good relationship, and I am paying off my debt. Wow. I got older fast. Current Location: Lillian H Smith Current Mood: old older oldest Current Music: NONE

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11:56 am - If i wasn't already seeing someone, I would like to see this guy Current Location: Bedroom Current Mood: give it to me baby Current Music: Juliana Hatfield - B sides

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March 24th, 2007

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March 16th, 2007

12:10 pm - I am part of the theatre blogging community - look at me go This is completely taken and ripped off from www.blogto.ca and is written by my friend Megan. However i have to say that I inspired her greatly to being able to write this well. ;) Thursday Theatre Review: HOUSE Posted by Megan in Theatre The season at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre this year has paid tribute to MacIvor and Daniel Brook's da da kamera collaborations in their farewell season. HOUSE is the last of a series of three one-man shows from da da in this year's season at Buddies. HOUSE is a hard show to pin down, it's certainly funny, but that doesn't mean it's light and easy, at times it can make you squirm. It's a one-man show that is basically a peek into someone's mind, or rather, a look at the world from his eyes. Victor makes the distinction between being weird and being fucked-up. You're born weird, you become fucked-up. Victor tells us that he's fucked-up. In a stream-of-consciousness rant he tells us about his father, The Saddest Man in the World, about his job, his boss, his sister, his mother, his wife and his 'group'. As I write that it's kind of hard to believe it's funny, but it really is, I promise, I certainly got some hearty belly laughs out of it. I love seeing authors perform their own work. Sometimes it's a disaster, sometimes it's a success, but it's always interesting, because it's always interesting to see the choices an author makes. In this case it was most certainly a success. My show partner this week was Cameron. When I asked him to position himself for the article he said he was an "artsy theatre homo who's an information professional that knows everything". The translation? I met Cameron when I was doing my theatre degree lo these many years ago, and now he's a librarian. When I asked Cameron what he thought of the show he exclaimed, without hesitation, "It was perfect!" He's not new to this show, so he was impressed by how seamlessly it has been updated, and also impressed with the bits of improvisation Brooks brought into the show. I asked him what his favourite part was and he said that was an impossible question to answer, that there wasn't even a favourite line because everything was so interwoven and key to the show. This is an opportunity you won't get again, this has been billed as "MacIvor's last solo performance of HOUSE", so if you have time you might want to get yourself down to Buddies in Bad Times Theatre and check it out. The Details: HOUSE runs until Sunday April 1st (both matinee and evening performances on Sunday March 25 and April 1st) Ticket prices range from $20 - $30 depending on the day you go. Sunday matinees are PWYC - get there early so you don't miss out. Rush seating (no assigned seating) Current Location: Alderwood reference desk Current Mood: Homolicious Current Music: Aretha Fanklin - Respect

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March 13th, 2007

05:28 pm - I love cats, I love kitties That is my cat Gloom Cookie. I adore him. Current Location: work Current Mood: much too much

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March 12th, 2007

06:45 pm - Is this what I've been waiting for? Just to know I don't know anymore A friend of mine commented last night on the fact that at least 85% of my music collection is female. To which I said "So what?" He then proceeded to tell me that I need to have a more balanced musical diet. To which I replied "Why?" He tried to give me all these reason's as to why I should listen to more men. I told him that I hear male voices all the time on the air waves, on T.V. and pretty much everywhere I go. Why would I want to expose myself to more of them? This is not the first time someone (however it is always a male) has made commented and had challenged the fact that almost all the music I listen to is female vocalists. Even my boyfriend was making fun of my music one day singing along to Veruca Salt saying "angsty girl rock, angstry girl rock" in time to the music (however I thought that was cute - but only cause I like him so much). Why is this such a big problem? WHY? The same thing is said about my having more female friends than male. Why does our society get so upset when someone of one biological sex identifies more with another one. Bugs the fuck right out of me. And although my answers to my friend had political qualities to it, my main answers is: JUST BECAUSE I FUCKING LIKE IT THAT WAY. ALL RIGHT? Current Location: Work Current Mood: That's the way I like it Current Music: Some Girls: Is this what I've been waiting for?

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March 7th, 2007

09:54 pm - I am trying I have never been so tired These are all the clever things that I have compiled over the years to tell my father off with. I don't think I need them anymore. But I do think that they need to go somewhere. You cut me and then you blame me for bleeding If you were everything you say things would be different today If you were everything that you swear, we would not be beyond repair I wanna hear you say that you're sorry Get out of my light so that I can see this world as it really is Only you know You cry out her eyes with fires unseen, but fire is unfaithful Blood makes noise it's ringing in my ears and I can barely hear you in the thickening of fears Because of you I came, because of you I leave Who do you think you are? You don't own the situation And he never said anything because he could not get a word in edgewise since you would never shut up! You blame it on me, but you're the disease and its an easy way out It's dying and our insides our starting to rot I don't want it to change You don't own me You can say it one more time and have a seat as I take to the sky It's funny that way you can get used to the tears and the pain One look at you the dying proof We'll try anything because we love you You don't know that I am far away from those awful things you say I've been making lots of little fire, I like to hear the crack of glass inside the frame. In my right hand I hold another treasure and in my left I hold the match that turns it into trash. How are you so burned when you're barely on fire? I've been here silent all these years She's been everybody else's girl, maybe one day she'll be her own Fuck this and fuck that fucking all the stupid fucking crap I am sure there are more, but for now, that is enough. Current Location: Bedroom Current Mood: Little bird Current Music: Veruca Salt: Yes Man

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February 24th, 2007

03:41 pm - Incident at Lochness (or TRL) I think the world is going crazy. On the same day as that woman jumping on the subway, shutting down the stations from Union to Eglington, there was a jumper at TRL. This man jumped from the 5th floor to the ground floor. The man died from the fall, and it has been confirmed that the fall was a suicide and not an accident. What the fuck? Why is all this weirdness going on? And why kill yourself at Toronto Reference Library? That has got to be the ugliest building in all of Toronto, and you can not take most items out. At least die in a place with more dignity. Current Location: Work Current Mood: I don't get it Current Music: Olive: Trickle

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February 19th, 2007

07:04 pm - These are a few of my favourite things I recently have found a new book that has actually made me want to own it. Normally I read a lot and most of the time I enjoy it, but never enough to actually want to own it to read over and over again. In the past couple of years my tastes have become even more discerning and my book purchasing has been reduced to mainly gifts or childrens books for work. This has all changed. I read Micheal Lowenthals "Avoidance" and I was simply blown away. I went out to find a copy and there was one at: This Ain't the Rosedale Library and it was on sale for $9.99. I bought it. I love it. You should all go read it. And emiline that is the one I want you to borrow. Current Location: Work Current Mood: oh yeah

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January 25th, 2007

12:42 pm - Don't be afraid to leave your mark Werewolves are pretty cool in my opinion. So are vampires. Also Zombies. I think that one of the things I find so fascinating about this group of "monsters" is that they have to leave a mark on you in order for you to join their followings. I think that this is not really all that different from us humans. Humans tend to want to be able to leave their mark. To be remembered. To have a token of themselves and their lives left behind. My first realization of this was in grade 7 when I was at a camp and someone had written on the bottom of the bunk: "I was here but now I'm gone. I left this note to turn you on" there was no name, just that ryhme. But it made me think of how people don't want to be forgotten, but they also want to have a certain element of mystery to who they are. Think of graffiti on the streets, or in bathroom stalls (why does it seem people always take Sharpies to the bathroom with them?), or on trees where people carve hearts of their love? The only place I left my mark at was Trinity College in Dublin where I wrote on a bathroom stall door: "there is always a green door and green gets you out. Green is sliding and diving and proteins colliding. It's your hipness, your fitness, your undying whitness" That is a quote from a song by Tanya Donelly. I don't know why I wrote it. I just felt an urge to have some sort of mark that I had been there. Even if the door was painted over, removed, whatever - it still proves to myself and anyone who reads it that I was there. There is something satisfying about knowing that on the path you tread that you left a mark for someone else to follow . . . sort of. Current Location: Alderwood Current Mood: at the same time Current Music: Werewolf - Cat Power

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